8 Things I Never Thought I’d Do ‘Til I Was Quarantined
1. Paint Mother Mary
Mary’s home is in an alcove at the top of the 2nd floor of my 3 story walk up. She was dreary and dirty, probably untouched for years. She even had a plug that was tucked into the wall and a lightbulb that, when touched, crumbled.
I really love her. Every time I climb the steps and arrive at the top of that 2nd floor, she was a reminder that I was almost home. That last flight is a very steep Brooklyn-doozy, so I always appreciated Mary’s inspiration.
With so much time on our hands, my roommate and I decided to give her a makeover. It started with unhooking her from the alcove, bathing her in the kitchen sink and then painting her together. My favorite parts are her pink lips and the ring on her right index finger (ring not pictured!).
2. Take 4 Weeks to Hang 2 Plant Holders
There was a lot of cursing, sweating and moaning involved in this one. Yes, it was a mini-porn show.
I moved to this apartment 2 weeks before quarantine and I was soooo excited to hang plant holders on my walls. It was a sign of settling in and I was excited to showcase my beloved plants.
Turns out, hanging plant holders is haaaaaaaaaaard! To be honst, I hit many obstacles — the drill stopped working and I had to do it by hand but I first had to go buy a Phillips head screwdriver. After a lot of hard work, it fell down and I put holes in the wall that still need to be fixed. Ugh.
Basically — I tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and failed. I asked a friend to help me, tried and failed again. Asked another friend to help me only to find that I needed longer screws. BOOM!
I finally hung those bad boys and I was so proud. I was reminded of how resilient I am. (I even fixed a closet door one day, too.)
3. Hand Wash Laundry in My Bathtub
My goodness. I can see why women from centuries past didn’t have to go to the gym to stay in shape. Doing laundry in the bathtub is next level DIY exercise.
The water is steaming hot and one must bend over and swirl everything around to ensure cleanliness, rinse it all and then wring it all out. Wringing out towels is a bitch but great for my biceps. Thank goodness for hot pink rubber gloves.
Then, there’s the walking down 3 flights to hang it all outside to dry.
But get this — I LOVED it. It was a great free work out and overall, a very satisfying activity.
4. Sew Pillows
Before quarantine, I had a a pair of favorite socks that ripped at the toe. I gave myself a week to sew them. If not, I made an agreement with myself that I would toss them. Even with giving myself a generous extension of one week, I still didn’t sew the socks and in the garbage they went.
Fast forward 2 months and there I was — in my yard, chatting with a friend on the phone, sewing my red fuzzy throw pillow.
And how fun it was! I got to take out my handy dandy sewing kit and meditatively sew. I remembered my grandmas teaching me to sew.
The funny thing is that the pillow started out square and by the time I was done sewing it, it was a rectangle. So it was like we got a new pillow.
5. Prepare for Combat to Go Food Shopping
There are two parts to this one — and please know that this whole shenanigan took 5 hours.
First, safety. That meant a solid well communicated plan of masks, gloves, disinfectant wipes, shots of apple cider vinegar, alcohol pads and hot lemon ginger mushroom tea and a shower upon return. It meant agreeing to leave our shoes, clothing and recyclable bags outside the door for 3 days.
Second, the art of having fun no matter what. We dressed for goddess battle. Boots, full body suits, sassy music, captain’s hats, Playa dust, decorative jewels on our faces, root chakras and bodies. We doused ourselves with sage, danced and set intentions for our journey to Trader Joe’s.
6. Wash Off Every Single Item I Purchased and Drag It in On a Towel
Seriously, oh my goodness. We concocted a plan that played out quite pleasurably.
My roommate grabbed a food shopping bag (we had 6 between the two of us), and item by item, she cleaned it with disinfectant spray, then handed it to me as I sat at the top of the stairs by the front door, did a final spray-and-wipe, then placed the hopefully corona-free item on the towel.
We listened to a podcast in the background and talked about each item and what we loved about it. It was like a grocery prayer.
The towel full of groceries was then dragged to the kitchen through squeals of hysterical laughter.
7. Cook 3 Meals a Day for Weeks On End
I have never cooked this much in my entire life. I don’t think I have ever eaten at home this much, ever, well not since the 80’s anyway. I raised a family and consider myself someone who loves to cook. But I also love to eat out, get take out and coffee on the go.
This quarantine has me making 3 meals a day. And I love it.
I also have never done this many dishes. Again, a thank you to my hot pink rubber gloves.
8. Watch My Daughter Jack Off Bananas
The day I went to Trader Joe’s I dropped off a bag of groceries to my daughter, who took soaping up each item to a further extreme than I did.
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