Last Friday, I smelled something burning in my room. I was on the phone with a friend and cut her off to say something was wrong — I smelled something burning.

My first thought was to turn off the space heater.

But I still smelled something burning.

Unplugged the space heater.

Still smelled burning.

Except now I felt a sizzle inside my head. (This moment stands out the most in this whole story because it was so visceral)

I could hear and smell something burning and so my next thought was that my Airpods shorted out.

I pulled them out…


My Commentary on Parenting

I got to see my son this week! He took a pit stop through JFK to visit home.

I loved our coffee, shake making and pull-an-oracle-card mornings together.

Someone today asked me about him and why he travels.

Does he travel for work? (such an acceptable reason to travel)

I told her: He travels because he loves it and is passionate about learning about different cultures and people. He wants to have new and different experiences and adventures. He’s making videos to show people different parts of the world they wouldn’t normally see.

She said, Don’t worry it will pass.


selfie at the Jersey Shore by Brenda Fredericks 2021

Last night Hailey and I stayed up late talking, eating lentils with cashew cream and going in the hot tub.

We were talking about my post yesterday about Jeremy’s travel and laughing that we / I rarely write about OUR relationship.

That there isn’t much to say.

And how very not true that is!

The thing about our relationship is that there’s so much flow and ease that it feels like a fish in water.

Does the fish even know it’s in water? Nope, but it very much IS.

If you’re into human design, we are a 9–0, which means…


That I Turned into a Nervous System Practice

There’s about 30 mosquito bites on my a$$ right now.

I’m that delicious.

I got them last night having the best time. Half naked, so of course, the bites.

I laid in the hammock in my robe chatting with a dear friend then hung out by the lake until pretty late. It was gorgeous listening to the frogs — so still. The moon was out and reflected in the lake.

The misquotes slayed me.

I realized this week that I’m allergic to the bites. …


Photo by Ajay Karpur on Unsplash

I do not believe all of my own thoughts.

When I do, I find I am moving from ego or hurt. Being reactive.

Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’

I would say, ‘The unexamined thoughts are not worth believing.’

Yesterday in my practices class we did a guided writing practice that has people take DEEP personal responsibility.

This is one of my go-to practices when I really need to CLEAR stuff out. The more annoyed I am with a person or situation, the more I need this practice.

Deep responsibility is always possible, even when the other…


The art of letting go

photo by Brenda Fredericks

Two weeks ago, I took my son, Jeremy, out for a beautiful lunch by the water. We ate jumbo shrimp and I had a virgin Bloody Mary.

I took this photo and love it so.

Over the next week, he revealed his travel plans and I was hoping to change his mind. I thought I could exert my mother-wisdom-will on him, just a little, because his destination of choice felt dangerous to me.

It became clear to me that he was very set in his plans. I was frustrated and afraid. There were a lot…


No Scientific Information Included

If you’re seeking scientific information about the COVID vaccine, read no further. This piece is all about heart, choice and healthy conversations.

I have been a flat out NO to the vaccine since I first heard of it.

In fact, I have laughed at it and distrusted it.

After the political mess I have witnessed in this country and how the pandemic was handled, I have less faith than ever in the government and our pharmaceutical industry.

I was flat out judgmental too. I thought that people who were getting the vaccine were taking the quick-fix and spiritually bypassing the slower, deeper need to fully quarantine and ride this pandemic out.

I am one of those die-hard quarantiners who has been home…


I know the exact moment it happened.

Photo by Daria Litvinova on Unsplash

I know the exact moment it happened.

We were in bed together, so connected and in flow, and then suddenly something felt off. I felt him go into his head — I knew he was thinking about his erection. I could feel it happening.

Instead of naming it, I kept going.

This seemingly small disconnection is in reality, huge.

I was surprised, and not surprised, in the next moment when I watched him reposition himself to move on top of me to penetrate.

We went from slow connected hot sexy flow to awkward…


The presence of desire points to possibility

Photo by @rw.studios on Unsplash

I love desire.

I love the desire itself, not only the manifestation of that desire. They are two very different beings.

Our desires lead us to the next iteration of ourselves. There is a deeper wisdom living inside us that guides us towards becoming the person we are meant to be, towards what is possible for ourselves in this life.

When I wanted to own my own business, I naturally learned about organizing, sales and authenticity. When I wanted a romantic partner I naturally learned about communicating, being vulnerable and asking for what I need. …


Photo by Olga Subach on Unsplash

I was teaching first period English on 9/11 when suddenly the phone rang.

It was the nurse and she asked me to tell Kaitlin Murphy to pack up and head to the office because her mom was picking her up. That seemed odd — it was so early in the morning.

I held the phone in my hand while the nurse held on, called Kaitlin’s name and said, “Pack up — your mom is here to pick you up.” It was something I did often as a sixth grade teacher.

However, what happened next was unprecedented.

The nurse said to me, “Just so you know, we…

Brenda Fredericks

Coach & Writer. Musings on being a woman, creator of Body Love, alchemist, mother, brendafredericks.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store