Claiming Sovereignty
The Art of Trusting Yourself
I used to be horrible at making decisions.
When I was approaching 40, I started hearing whispers to leave my marriage. It terrified me. I knew there was truth to it but it also made no sense — everything on paper was perfect.
I went back and forth constantly and it drove me crazy.
I have learned a few things since then.
Not Choosing is Choosing
I was completely lost in indecision about what to do with my marriage. One moment I was leaving, the next I was staying. I scoured for signs and answers every day — it drove me mad.
Not deciding is also deciding. I was choosing to stay stuck.
And that is okay. There was something my soul was working out and that cannot be rushed. It takes as long as it takes. What appears as “stuck” is actually deep, deep negotiating with one’s soul. I was learning to trust myself and was deeply considering my willingness to navigate the path ahead of me.
There’s a lot of pressure to decide. And the truth is — why would this have been an easy decision? We were married for two decades and had two amazing children together. Of course making this decision was a process.
