Member-only story
How I Healed Decades of Fainting Spells
Retraining My Mind to Stay Conscious
It started when I was ten. I fainted when I got my ears pierced — my thin little body slipped out of that big chair at the mall. I felt very alone, although I’m certain I wasn’t.
The next time I remember passing out was as a preteen when I heard the doctor tell my mother I may have bronchitis. I didn’t know what that meant but it sounded scary and the next thing I knew I was smack on the floor. I began to associate fear and pain with passing out. It started happening regularly at doctor’s offices.
My mom was concerned and so she started to warn the doctors in advance that I may pass out. I could feel the tension in the room that arose from that. Nurses and doctors got silent, wrote lots of notes and slowly turned their heads, staring at me with big eyes. Their concern sparked my fear and as a result I would eventually pass out.
Over time, the ante upped to double fainting. I would come to consciousness and then a few minutes later faint again. So, my mom started warning the medical staff of that, too. She was doing her best to protect me, everyone was. But all the attention on it scared me.
What we put our attention on grows and I felt helpless and terrified.
