My Mother’s Cameo Found Me

my mom’s cameo in the handmade jewelry case my grandma sewed

I recently had a desire for a new cameo.

I was gifted a beautiful one when I was engaged to be married in 1990. He searched for the perfect one in antique stores and settled on a beautiful one in New Orleans. He was so happy to gift it to me and I always loved it.

Very unfortunately, it was one of the items lost when my storage unit was emptied in 2017. My kids and I lost all the special items we saved when we sold our house. Huge lessons were learned here — story for another day.

I have grieved the loss of my storage unit a thousand times. The pain and grief of it has lived so deep in me.

When I sold my house in 2016, I saved my MOST MOST special items and put them in storage. So did my kids.

To say that those most special items are now gone still makes me cringe. It’s hard enough that my items are gone — mostly the things I miss were my grandmother’s desk, my grandfather’s handmade chess board and art. My grandma’s red velvet chair. But my kids’ items missing is the thing that breaks my heart a thousand times. And there is nothing I can do about it except take responsibility and make amends. I live with the grief of it in my heart.

I have slowly over time been grieving so much loss.

This and so much more.

Losses I chose

Losses that took me by surprise

All of these losses have needed space and time and a lot of love and compassion. It’s been a process and I am still in it.

Grief takes as long as it takes to move, and I have learned to live with the duality of the love and loss inside of me. It has made my heart quite large.

I have moved around a lot since I sold my house — different cities, different parts of NYC and I have recently chosen to Land.

It feels amazing on my body and soul. Before 2016, I lived basically in the same place for decades so these have all been very new experiences for me.

I am currently having a brand new experience in the Landing.

The part about the cameo is coming….

When I was moving around, I took only my essentials with me. The rest I have stored at my mother’s house…