It did not begin by him saying: “Would you like to have a nude Indian food dinner date with me?”
Instead, I could feel the co-creation of this date arising through our conversation. He is a naturist, I am a part-time naturist and we started discussing the varied flavors and textures of Indian food.
I could feel the date coming to life through our texts, like paint on canvas. And so I named it out loud to him, “Are you suggesting a nude Indian food date?” as shivers ran down my spine.
And so it was set for Friday night.
I sat on my black leather couch to wait for him, fidgeting, trying to remain calm.
“Answer the door naked,” he had requested and I agreed.
But I wore two things: my bulky oatmeal colored sweater and a long gold necklace that hung between my breasts. One of my teachers said, “Wear something a little more interesting than nothing,” and so I did.
“I will disrobe as soon as I arrive,” he informed me.
And he did.
His text came in on my phone that he was at my front door. I felt a jolt of heat through my body — I was excited and nervous.
I opened the door and he walked in normally, as if it were any other dinner date with a friend.
I hadn’t seen him in several years. He had texted me every now and again, hoping, but I never paid him much attention. But this time, something in his message caught my attention and there I was — answering the door mostly naked.
We awkwardly hugged, our bodies not yet in sync. As he entered my front entranceway, I closed the door behind him as he placed the brown bag of Indian take out on the floor.
Without any words, he started to disrobe.
My monkey mind got activated then. Did I want to see him naked? Do I want to have this date? Do I even like him? Maybe I want to tell him to go home now? Maybe I tell him not to disrobe?
I took a breath and grabbed some hangers out of my coat closet. I could be a good hostess, at least. I leaned against the wall and watched him remove his clothing. I breathed again.
Do I look at his cock? Do I want to? What if I don’t like what I see? What if I change my mind? I hung up his clothing and stayed present to feel the sensation of this moment. My stomach had butterflies.
He looked at my sweater and said, “You’re supposed to be naked,” to which I replied, “I am supposed to be comfortable,” and he said “Oh yes, for sure.”
I had not looked at his cock.
I loved the awkwardness of us standing nude in my living room.
We went to my kitchen and together , we organized the tiki masala, naan and chicken in the oven and then moved to the couch to chat, naked.
We settled in and I could feel my system relaxing as we chatted about regular things that two people might chat about who had clothes on.
A few minutes in, I slowed the conversation down and asked him how he was feeling right now, and I shared how I was feeling too. Nervous, excited, curious. Truth and vulnerability is the biggest turn on and the best spot for authentic connection.
I was beholden to listening to my inner voice on this date (and always). So when I heard the voice that it was time to eat, I moved us in to the kitchen and we sat down to dine.
I had put towels down on my kitchen chairs in advance, as any respectable Virgo would.
I lit a candle on the table and the lights were dim. Norah Jones played in the background. We sat and started to dine on the feast he brought for us.
As dinner went on we enjoyed each other’s company more and more, laughing and telling stories. I rested my legs on his after we finished eating.
We moved back to the couch and I heard another voice to mix things up. I dimmed the lights, moved the candle, changed the music and sat on the bed. I invited him to join me.
He started talking and I noticed my head felt tired of talking. I said, “I have a desire,” and he was curious.
“I want to get out of my head and be in my body,” I told him.
It was then that he kissed me.
It was slow at first and our lips moved around trying to find the right spot. After a few minutes, we got in to a rhythm together.
Yes, we had sex. Yes, it was very hot.
But that isn’t what this story is about.
What’s It About Then?
This story, like life, is about living out of my comfort zone. Pushes my edges has me feel awake and alive.
What felt very expansive about this naked dinner date is that while it was out of my comfort zone, it was also “in range,” meaning if I were a rubber band, I was able to stretch on this date, not break. When the rubber band breaks, hurt and trauma can occur. Knowing and exercising my yes and no are key to staying in range.
Stretching the rubber band of life is where the growth and magic is.
We have one life, and I want to LIVE it.
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