Speaking It Fat: Finding Power and Truth in My Voice

“Your voice is thin but it needs to be fat.”

That’s what my voice teacher (also my boyfriend) told me in our lesson this morning about my singing. He’s said it before.

This truth is a giant metaphor for my life.

My entire spiritual journey has been one of learning to speak up, speak my voice, speak my truth.

I spent a good part of my life holding it back and hiding it (even to myself). I had such a disconnection inside of me — a belief that to stay safe I needed to be quiet.

So I stuffed it, held it in. Sugar coated it, spoke it thinly.

Until it became impossible to hold it back any more.

I had held the truth of how I felt inside of me for 4 decades and so when it first started coming out it was wonky as f*ck.

It’s like that at first when you start waking up to the reality that you CAN speak your mind, that you CAN say the truth of what is happening for you.

I really had no idea this was possible for me.

For some, speaking the truth inside of them is like drinking water — so easy and matter of fact. I have learned a lot from watching people do this.